A very special young man died yesterday, and today I am heartbroken. Josh was like my third son, and he always greeted me as "Mom", accompanied by a huge bear hug.
The picture above shows my three sons at the wedding of my eldest, Michael, who is in the middle. On the left is my youngest son, Chad, and on the right is Josh.
I have so many memories of Josh. When our family moved to Lynnwood, Wa., I put my boys in a home daycare where there were already 3 boys and a girl, all about the same ages. Michael and Josh became fast friends. They were in Third Grade.
When Josh graduated from High School, he had no where to live. Michael's room was empty, since he was attending Washington State University, so Alan and I invited Josh to move in with us. I don't remember how long he stayed, but that is when I became "Mom", and he developed a close relationship with Alan.
At Alan's memorial service in February, Josh spoke movingly about his relationship with Alan, and how much Alan had loved me and our two boys.
Josh, my wish for you is that you find Alan again in heaven, and you can somehow find the peace you are looking for.
This is how I am dealing with this. I bought this living tree today, to be placed somewhere in my yard. This will be my style "Joshua Tree". When Michael and Adrienne come this weekend, we can decorate the tree with Christmas ornaments.
It just feels right.