She's Up and Running

Well, it has been a long while since I have posted here, but I'm back and ready to go.

First of all, I need to share with you a picture of my grandson, Cadel.  Yes, I am in love.

 

He's coming over for dinner tomorrow night to celebrate his Dad's birthday!!

 Now, here is a picture taken from my deck.  I now live in Seattle in a neighborhood called Ballard.  It is traditionally a fishing center.  Fisherman's terminal is right across the canal from here, and the Hiram Chittendom Locks are just two blocks away.  I can see the ships moving through the canal all day.  If you ever watch "The Deadliest Catch", you have visited this port and some of the local watering holes.

The very top of the space needle is visible at the top of the hill in the distance, and I was able to watch the fireworks display put on atop the needle on New Years Eve right from the comfort of my living room.

Whenever someone visits, we take a walk to the locks.  Here is an interesting little boat making it's entery into the first stage.

If you were wondering, yes, I love it here.  I feel so content.  Contentment is the word of the day.  I haven't felt like this in a long time.

I have been a vendor for the past two weeks at the Ballard Farmer's Market.  Above are a few of the scarves I have for sale there, and below are a few of the yarns.

I'm really enjoying the market here.  It's only 6 blocks from my apartment, and in a very upscale neighborhood.  So far, business has been good.  The first week, I sold 4 green hats to 4 red haired women.

Funny.

 

That's it for now.  I will be posting more regularly, now that I know how to retrieve my pictures from my Smart Phone.  The darn phone seems to be smarter than me.

The Village of Nooksack

 

Yesterday, the Cities of Everson and Nooksack lost a great man.  Police Chief Erik Ramstead was a kind and generous man and will be missed by all.

I read about the news on facebook in the morning, and while driving north to an appointment, it got me to thinking; thinking back to the day when my husband died, and how a Village came to my aid.

I've never told this entire story here, and if you need to, leave now.  I am not going to leave any details out.

I slept in late, the morning of December 21, 2010.  I NEVER slept past 6:30, but there it was, 7:20am.

All was dark in the house, and I jumped out of bed proclaiming "Alan, Gordon will be here in 40 minutes".  Gordon was our vet.  I went to the bathroom first, and looked out the window to see if the lights were on in the barn.  No.  Oh, no.  That's when I knew.  I turned around and saw the shadow of Alan in his recliner.  I turned on the lights and my worst fears were realized.  He was gone.  He had left me.  I was devastated.

I called my neighbors first.  My fingers were so conditioned to dial Judy's number, that even though I had intended 911, I got her.

Then I managed 911.

I was going in circles, wondering what to do, when I saw Gordon drive in.  Gordon is never early.  In fact, he is rarely on time.  Everyone knows this.  But here he was, 20 minutes early.

I ran outside screaming, "Gordon, Alan is dead".  He got out of the truck, wrapped me in his arms and held me while I screamed and cried and sobbed.  He never let go until my neighbors arrived.

I didn't know it at the time, but after surrendering me to Judy and Tom, Gordon called my friends in the alpaca community and the other vets.

Tom and Judy went in the house with me, and then the EMTs arrived.  I knew two of them personally, one of them being a school friend of Alan's.  A police officer also came, and he stayed at the house until Alan's body was removed quite a bit later by the mortuary.

As soon as the aid cars left, there began a stream of friends and neighbors arriving.  One came with her daughter, carrying two large trays covered with cookies, breads and other foods.  Kathleen, from my knitting group came and vacuumed my house and washed the kitchen floors.  She knew I would be having company.

The first neighbor, Kelly, organized about a dozen kids to come clean up my yard, which was covered with tree boughs from the last northeaster.  I didn't know she had done this, but at one point I looked out the window, and there they were along with a City employee who was loading the waste into a City vehicle and hauling it away.

The day went on like that with Alan's school friends coming and staying for hours, telling stories and reminiscing.  Esther, a young lady who had volunteered with me during the summers and being my friend, came and silently worked in my kitchen all day.  I did not remember that until this last summer when I was at her bridal shower and we were asked to relate how we knew her and to share a story.

 

Where am I going with this?

It Takes a Village.

The people of Nooksack and Everson embraced me in a manner I never anticipated.  People I did not even know came by with cards and goodies for weeks.

This is why it was so hard for me to leave my wonderful town of Nooksack.  It took me two years to make the decision, and I am not sorry.  But my heart remains with all my dear friends in Whatcom County, Washington.

Know that you are loved and will not be forgotten.



Ch ch ch CHANGES (ha! I'll bet you were expecting Chia pet!)

 

Wow, has it been a long time since I posted here.  Things have really changed for me.  And, I continue to have problems with Blogger, AND I have a new smart phone.  I downloaded all my picture4s to the computeer, and can't figure out where they went.  Ah, the life of a truly inept cyber geek.

 

Soooooooo, I backed out on the purchase of the condo.  I know enough about real estate and condos to make me really nervous.  I was waking up each morning with more doubts and questions, and finally decided this place was going to be another Money Pit, just like the farm.  I do not need that.

While I was in Seattle for Thanksgiving, I went apartment hunting in Ballard, my neighborhood of choice.  Darned if I didn't happen upon the sweetest place!  I am a block from Market Street, for those of you who know the area.  I can see the Hiram Chittenden Locks from my deck.  It's really amazing when a big ship goes through and you watch it making progress across the way.  So, back to the apartment.  I have landed in a wonderful little community of kind, helpful, artistic tennants and am having a blast.  The site manager is a doll, and just across the hall is a woman who creates the most incredible dolls.  I will catch up with pictures as soon as I can figure this out.

So anyway, I moved in on December 7.  I am less than two miles from my Grandson.  It is so heartwarming to have him smile at me in recognition.  Okay, I'm hooked.  Now I get the grandparent thing.  I am totally in love.

I have applied for my Seattle Business license and hope to be selling my yarns and such at the Ballard Market in a week or two.  When the weather warms up, the organic farmers that leased my land want me to work for them in their produce stalls at the various Farmer's Markets around town.  I'm anxious for all of this to get started.  I'm finally settled in and have my place just the way I like it.  Now it's time to get to work and make some money!

The Clock is Ticking

 

 

Things are moving right along on the sale of the farm.  The hardest part is the cleanup.  There is junk and more junk that has sat here for over 60 years.  That junk needs to be hauled away, and looks like the chore is mine, all mine.

As far as packing up my own things, I've done quite well.  I am saying good bye to all the stuff I have not used in a year, or that is Country related.  The Farmgirl has left the building, and the only memorabilia I am taking with me is the farm sign, which I will hang on my back porch, and the show banner I used at all of the Alpaca Events we attended.

At this rate, it looks like it will all fit into a U-Haul truck, and my boys and the neighbors will all help with that job.  I'm aiming for December 8th.

 

I also found about 5 quilt tops I had made back in the quilting days prior to Alan's death.  I haven't had time for any of that since then.  I knew I would not finish them, so I gave them to my church.  Two times a year, the ladies get together and make small quilts for the children who go to the local women's shelter with their moms.  Most of them have been abused and are in crises.   As they arrive, they are each given a quilt.  These quilts are all worked on by many women.  Some buy the fabric, some cut.  Others sew the pieces together, others iron the seams.  More do the quilting, and then finally the binding.  The quilts were dedicated last Sunday, and I am proud and honored to say that 4 of mine are now in the hands of some children who need a bright place in their lives.

 

I will be homeless for awhile and living in my brother's basement.  I have put an offer on a cute little condo in Seattle, at the base of Magnolia, and right across the ship canal from my kids and Cadel!  Wonderful walking zone.  I am going to become the Walking Queen.

The condo is a short sale, and is in quite a state.  The former owners seemed to be "Big Ship" afficianados, and attempted to decorate their living room to resemble the Captains Quarters on the Bounty.  They put in a false ceiling that is sagging and about to fall, resurfaced the houseing of the fireplace, and put in these god awful moldings all over.  These things will have to be dealt with immediately after I take possession, IF I actually get it.

 

Funny how a SHORT sale talks so long.  It's called a short sale because the sellers are short funds to pay off their bank.  The bank takes offers and decides which one they will lose the least amount of money on.  Well, I don't think they will have to think on this one too long.  I am paying cash, I'm the only offer they have had, and they are accruing costs evey day they keep this on their inventory.

 

One of the best things about this condo is that it has a HUGE back deck, as big as one of the bedrooms.  It only gets morning light, but I can have a nice shade garden out there with plenty of fushias and begonias.  But, I wont have to mow a lawn!!!

 

I've also got an application in to work at my favorite funky clothing store on a part time, flexible schedule.

 

Then, my big goal is to be in the Weekly Freemont Street Fair.  I've been told by several vendors there that my yarns will do really well.  No one has anything like it there.  I'm really looking forward to that.

 

As for Thanksgiving, I'm heading down on Monday to spend another week with my brother.  My allergies to mold just begin to subside as I am ready to return here, but I just can't stay here long, since I get so sick.  My boys and I will be celebrating Thanksgiving on Friday at a Natural, Vegetarian Restaurant.  I'm really looking forward to some great quality time with all my boys and Adrienne.

THE REAL STORY

 

 

This is going to be a very difficult post.  Most of you know that I started this blog as a journal to chart and keep track of the many happenings on my farm while being an alpaca breeder.  That was often very entertaining, and I rarely lacked in subject matter to write about.  But, with the death of my husband, my whole world turned upside down, and these last two years have been extremely difficult for me.  My cousin Carolyn knows that when I have not blogged for awhile, I am having hard times.  My Mother was the same way.  She always knew that if they had not received at least one letter a week from me while I was in college, it was time for her to bite the bullet and pay for a long distance call to check in on me.  It is hard to write when you are not feeling "up".

Many of you have commented on my strength and upbeat attitude during times of adversity, and I guess I acknowledge that to a certain extent.  The truth is it has been a long, torturous journey for me.  I go to bed crying, and I often wake up crying.  Fortunately, I have some of the most amazing friends a person could ever hope for.  On top of that is my brother who has been my rock

Staying in Nooksack, on the farm, has been a love/hate relationship.  There are so many memories here, yet I feel as if there is this oppressive giant thumb holding me down, preventing me from getting on with my life.  To complicate matters, I am still unable to drive on the freeways without having a panic attack.  I don't know if that is because my brain is still adjusting to the eye surgery and the shock of having two eyes in perfect alignment, or if I have caused a habitual fear based on the difficulties I had prior to having my vision corrected surgically. This has limited my independence and my ability to get away to visit my kids and friends on a regular basis.  Living out here in Nooksack, I am really quite isolated, and with the onset of Standard time with the darkness coning earlier, I realize how much I hate the winters here.

A year ago, I wanted to sell the farm and move back home to Seattle, but a conflict with a relative prevented me from doing so.  I tried my hardest to make it work, but I was working my tail off and my health was in jeopardy.  After months of doctor's visits, tests and trips to the emergency room, the discovery that I'm suffering from a mold allergy is such a relief.  I had gotten so tired of hearing "Linda, we don't know what is wrong with you".

That was the final straw that set me in action.  I've been through a "process", coming to the decision to move, and even my closest friends are finding it hard to believe I will be leaving them.

I have been at my brother's, housesitting while he and his wife are on vacation, and today I went looking at condominiums.  These are distressed properties, either short sales or forelosures.  I went with the Realtor, and told her up front that I didn't think I would be buying, but wouldn't you know I found a place I just love, and in the neighborhood I was hoping for.

It is going to be another process, and being a short sale, it will take time.  But, I'm being hopeful.

Can you imagine me living in a condominium?  No yard, no flower garden?  No lawnmowers to fight with.  Who ever said I had to be a lawnmower mechanic?  Or plumber, or gutter cleaner, or ditch digger.  Oh, I could go on and on.  Of course, you probably read my list.

 

The second anniversary of my husband's death is coming up on Dec. 21, and I hope to be living termporarily in my brother's basement by then.

But here is some wisdom for everyone.  Treasure your spouse, your better half..  Watch out for their health as seriously as you look out for your own.  

Have you ever been in a room full of people who love you, and feel completely alone?  I miss being able to look across the room to catch the eye of my man.  With just that simple look, an entire history passes between you, and no words are necessary.  You both know and feel it in your heart.

As exciting as the changes are coming my way, this is going to be a hard time for me

I'm looking forward to a new year and a new life..

 



LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

In an attempt to make leaving this place a little bit easier, I have been keeping a list of things I will not miss once I am gone.

#1.

First and foremost, the smell of the farmers spreading liquid cow manure on the fields.

#2

Fir needles everywhere in the house and store.

#3

Mold

#4

Digging trenches around the cement slabs to prevent the store and garage from flooding.

#5

The isolation and loneliness

#6

Mold

#7

Mud

#8

Weeds

#9

Did I happen to mention Mold? And mold.

Speaking of mold, I was reading an article in FIRST magazine the other night about allergies to common mold. Now was that timely, or what? They recommmend a Symptom stopper of Butterbur Extract. Well, you'd better believe I marched into the local health food store and told them I was looking for Butter Butt. Ooops. Well, they got a good laugh. The bottle says it is for Neurological Support. That makes sense to me because my brain feels like it is going to explode. I sure hope this works. The second thing they recommend is to have an English Ivy in your home. The Ivy actually acts as a filter. I found a very nice Ivy topiary to put in my living room.

#10

Getting up in the middle of the night to chase off coyotes. Since the alpacas are gone, I don't worry so much, but the gates are also gone, and the coyotes end up in my back yard. I'm so fierce wearing a barn jacket over . . .well, whatever, my muckboots, and my headlamp, carrying a pitchfork. Those darn coyotes are so smart, they have cleared out and are far gone as soon as I turn on the first light.

#11

Northeasters.

I am finding I need this list to make leaving easier. I am going to miss my dear friends and community so much, it is unspeakable. I cry alot.

But I am so happy and excited to be moving on and pursuing my new goals.

This blog is going to change quite a bit, and I plan to keep you all informed on my progress.



A Change is Gonna Come

 

 

I've had a very emotional month.  I finally figured out I'm allergic to my house.  I've done alot of work on it to get rid of the mold upstairs, but the basement is a problem.  I've been sick for at least two years, and just kept getting worse.  Sometimes, I can be a very slow learner.  Now that the decision is made, I feel so relieved.  For the next few months, I am moving into a gorgeous home in a beach side community, Birch Bay.  The house is on a bank above the bay with spectacular views.  I am able to rent the house month to month, and am close enough that I can go to the farm a few days a week to work on the clean-up and the yard sales.  Oh, have I got a lot of work to do.  But, at the end of it all, I will be heading back to Seattle where I am from.  There I will find a place to plant myself and blossom.  I have alot of life left to live, and a new Linda to nourish.

Wish me well, friends.