I have been trying to post here for a week now, but don't like to do so without at least ONE picture. Blogger does not want to download any of my pics!! I don't get it. Does anyone have a clue?
So, writing seems to sooth my soul, and I have the need for some soothing. Next Sunday marks the 40th wedding anniversary of my deceased DH and me. I try so hard to be strong, and I continue to insist that dates and family traditions don't mean anything to me. But here is the truth: Your heart and your mind are in control. I have been crying for three days now. Even knowing why does not help. I guess it's just another stage of grief. I am so thankful for the support and prayers of my friends, and especially my friend Char who has been widowed for 6 years. She's been here and can guide me. Sometimes it hits like a sledgehammer, others it's just creeping in, lying below the surface.
I know this will pass. I know I am strong. I also know I am painfully lonely.
4 comments:
Linda...Linda......please do not beat yourself up over this. It is perfectly normal for you to have these kinds of reactions for quite awhile after such a loss. Never did you expect not to celebrate this special day with Alan...and you feel hurt and you feel cheated...and you have every right to feel that way. I wish I could hug you in person, but....for now....please consider yourself hugged long-distance, my friend. And I hope the many long-distance hugs you will get AND the hugs your nearby family and friends can give you in person will give you some support at this difficult time.
take it easy on yourself. Cry and let it out. Grief works that way. Years later it can come back because of some odd chance thought. I was in a meeting hosted by Red Cross and almost had to get up and leave. Why? They mentioned contacting service members when someone dies. the incident was almost 30 years ago. But it was as if it just happened.
You learn to live with it. Trust me on that one. Big hug to you!
Oh Linda, big huge hugs... be true to your emotions. That's all a part of grief.
((((((((((Linda))))))))))
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